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| This week the pope released 7 new modern sins to supplement the classic 7 deadly sins. I think there is an opportunity here to make money. I know that that goes against at least one of the old ones and three of the new ones but I am not catholic, so I'm golden.
What is my idea? What was the best way to cash in on the first 7 deadly sins? By making a totally sweet movie. so I have outlined my plot for se7en 2 below.
Basically the most important part of the story is the way the new cast of characters will be killed and maimed using the seven new sins. What are these sins you ask? read a F$#*&* newspaper... or find them right here
1. 'Bioethical' violations such as birth control
2. 'Morally dubious'
experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the
environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6.
Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty
Alright so I just need to create a way to kill someone using each of these I will start with the easy ones, and then move on to the ones that I lose friends over.
3. Drug Abuse - Kevin Spacey will tie a man to a chair and feed him a steady stream of heroine in one arm and morphine in the other. But not too much. First the victim will live for years in a made up nightmarish world repeatedly killing himself in his mind. He will be left in this awful groundhog day like situation, until the detectives find him and take him off of the drugs thus allowing his actual destruction.
5,6,7. I'm going to be honest these three are pretty much the same thing, and I believe fall under the category of greed which was already on the original list. I think the pope was just trying to make it to the number 7. Its like when I am writing a research paper and try to put in block quotes that are way longer than they need to be. I think if my 9th grade english teacher spotted this, so will Jesus... just saying pope... watch your back.
Annnyways... this is where the movie gets pretty long and a little boring. Kevin spacey, who is now rich beyond his wildest dreams uses his money to systematically repress on individual. He kicks him out of his job and house and pays soup kitchens not to feed him. Think of the movie trading spaces if it were a drama and Eddie Murphy was also left to rot in prison.
4. Someone is polluted to death... I'm still trying to figure this one out.
1. Kevin Spacey one ups his previous ending where he cuts off Gweneth Paltrow's head by murdering her unborn, and unconceived child. He does this by slipping a birth control pill into Gweneth Paltrow's drink just before she does it with brad pitt. Its a murder most foul... what's that you say? it doesn't make sense? Well maybe you are forgetting about Number 2
2. Kevin Spacey has brought Gweneth Paltrow back to life using morally dubious experiments. he does this so he can murder her unconceived child and in an unexpected ending, cut off her head and deliver it in a box. Thats right the ending to the first movie all over again. What could be more unexpected.
This took too long to write.
love,
Chris
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| From Chapter 2 : The Do's and Don'ts
Smiling during child birth may seem healthy at first, but remember that it poses great risk for your child. Did you know that smiling requires the use of more muscles than frowning? I didn't... and I'm still not entirely sure that its true. But if it is just think of the consequences. Those muscles you are using are muscles stolen from your baby. Smile too much and he may be born without a leg. Is that a laugh I see? Did you know that each time you laugh your belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly? Now imagine being placed inside a bowl of jelly and just shaken... Now pretend you are a baby in that same situation... now imagine that people around you are just laughing and laughing... Exactly...
Chapter 5: You (And your Baby's!) new diet
You are going to want to get a head start of getting the proper nutrition to your baby. Thats why I suggest you consume a steady diet of baby food right away. Try the mashed peas or my personal favorite. Tapioca Rice noodles (Pureed).
From Chapter 12: Baby Names!
Now when you are naming your baby you are going to want a name that is unique, but be careful. Many names will come off as racist as this sentence. May I suggest a unique name that brings a bit of prestige to your baby. Go ahead and name him doctor or lawyer. Instant respect. And if its a girl you can certainly name her Nurse, secretary, or even Misses Jonathan Harew IV, as I'm sure that Jonathan Harew will be a wealthy man by the time she is of age.
The End
- Chris
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| Sis: I have to go to school in the morning. Whoever invented school was the dumbest person ever.
Chris: Thats probably because he had never been to school.
Sis: (is mad at me)
-Bye
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